bloodsuckers and the toppermost of the poppermost

so finals are over, and another term's coming.

my emotional status:
*nervous
*excited
*frustrated
*depressed
*confused

well seems that from my list i came up of mostly negative stuff. arrgghh i'm gonna have to change my mind settings, especially now i need all the good vibes that i can get.

grades. it's okay, but there's one subject that i'm concerned about (yeah digimed i'm talking about you!) had a topic, had a problem, but medium's kinda messed up. and then turned out after the defense, all had been messed up, and i hope i can fix it. i really REALLY hope. i really need all the inspiration that i can get. well if i'd get say nothing or only one, what can i do...

vacation. so yeah we had days to succumb into our comfy beds that we all missed since the past few days were all about "ohh-you-need-to-bee-finished-please-be-finished" and all that, and our butts are just about heating our seats. well vacation's pretty short, but at least we had one. well, that's my mom talking (maybe when i get a job THEN i'd say that too.)

and then there's that depressing topic called love. well either that or you're happy with love. but then when it suddenly does the worst, that's when you really hate feeling it. what's that worst? it affects how you think. well it usually does that. when we're in love or we love something we think of happy thoughts, and we rarely think of negative thoughts. or sometimes, we even cannot think of one, for that happy feeling embraces ourselves, and even then we get to see the positives of the negatives. but when it's the other way around, it gets worse. because negatives are "negatives" and it sucks the life away from you, it doesn't help. of course. that's what it's doing to me now. IT'S SUCKING THE LIFE AWAY FROM ME. and then either we feel those bad vibes, or we feel numb. not really nothing, but just numb, from all the negative surrounding us. well like every other human who couldn't or would not want to feel this way, or think this way, rather, we face it. face it. yep. and then, we bid them goodbye.

but heck, they're never really gone. not really. just kept locked up inside, but for the sake of memories.

for me i can't say that i have bid goodbye from that something that's sucking the life out of me. it's kinda like that bloodsucker that you see at swamps. anyways yeah, never really said goodbye to it. just waiting for that day. it's near.

ohhh i hope i can survive this... obstacles. i can see myself going to the toppermost of the poppermost, but i can also see myself fall. fail.

to the toppermost of the poppermost. yeah, i think i can live with that. thanks, john lennon.