spacing out.

every monday we have this class that sort of prepares us for our main thesis subject, which we'll take up next term. we have to think about what can we do for our thesis slash final project. yeah easy right? no.

we have to THINK about ONE certain project for our thesis slash final project so that if we pass, we can now proceed to being an intern. ONE topic. out of more than a million topics. in ANY medium. as long as we have something to stand for, and something to tell the audience.

for me that was very hard, for many reasons:

1. i really don't have anything to tell
2. i can do anything (not bragging but really, the major that i picked can really go on anything from painting to video)
3. there are, as i said, MORE THAN A MILLION topics that we/i can think of doing
4. i don't really have a specialty
5. i'm more of a "do this and this" person than a "ok do anything you want" person. i have lots and lots of things that i want, and we have to think about what we want that can be applicable to our professor's guidelines oh having a topic
6. i have alot of things that i wanna do, but i really don't have anything to tell. i just wanna do them.

is number 6 a reasonable reason?
what if you REALLY don't have anything to say, but you wanna do something? you wanna feel that you have something to share, but really, it's more on the visuals and not the meaning. but really, is that really ART?

are there ART without MEANING? art without meaning is senseless. why did you do that art if you haven't got anything to say?

senseless.

that's why i looked like i'm always spacing out every monday class. i'm thinking about reasons why i wanna do my topic. how. when. can i do it? am i gonna do this forever? am i NOT gonna do this forever? how can i do this. what if it doesn't work out?